As you guys know, I've been getting more serious about working out this Fall.
Instead of just doing workout DVDs, walking, and using the elliptical machine at the gym in my apartment building, I've been actually going out into the wild to take some group fitness classes, primarily in the barre category.
Well, okay, only in the barre category.
And since I exercise in public around real humans with nostrils now, I can't just fold up my sweaty workout attire into a neat pile and wear it again the next day. Needless to say, I have to switch my shit up in order to practice proper hygiene each time I venture out.
I mean, I don't have a fitness closet like Khloe Kardashian or anything, my god.
But I do have a modest collection of workout clothes that I wash once a week and rotate around as needed.
Okay, I know I said that my rich person fantasies mostly revolve around not cringing at my checkout total at the health food store, but I take it back! My rich person fantasies revolve around a workout closet like Khloe's and not cringing at my checkout total at the health food store. The little things, you know?
Anyway, here are some of the things I've been wearing to workout lately:
- My Zella leggings that I've had literally (no, actually literally) since 2012. I wear them to sweat, sleep, work, hang out, go out.......everything. I've ran them through the washer and dryer about 800 times and they won't die! They don't really pill either.
- Items I've seen for sale at barre studios but found cheaper online by going straight to the company's website, like these straight leg stretchy pants from Glyder Apparel. See? Life hacks.
- This old black sports bra that I swear I've had for 10 years. I remember my mom buying it for me at the Jockey store at the outlet mall near my hometown the summer after my freshman year in college. I mean, I've had other sports bras over the years, but this one doesn't make my boobs hate me while also providing enough support for all the bouncy-bouncy.
- My engagement ring because a lot of these boutique workout studios I go to are located in Portland's fancy-schmancy Pearl District, and I gotta keep up with the Joneses, you know?
- Lots of all-black ensembles including the Spanx high-waisted faux leather leggings because when I'm dressed like Cat Woman, I can do anything. As Michelle Obama once said about Spanx: "We all wear them with pride."
- Some really cheap workout clothes I found on Asos. Here's what I do: I go to the Women's Activewear page, then sort the items from low to high, and pick out some hella cheap shit. They even have some very reasonably-priced name brand names like Reebok, Adidas, Puma, and even Nike, but the Nike stuff doesn't ship to the U.S. for some reason.
- A couple pairs of pants from Kate Hudson's scammy Fabletics brand. They make you sign up for a "VIP membership" where you get charged on a monthly basis for a new set of workout clothes, which I think is pretty shady. But.....I did sign up for a quick second to get their 2 pants for $24 for VIP members deal and then immediately canceled my account once the pants had shipped. Their stuff is pretty decent, so $12 pants (in high waisted, of course) that used to be 80-something dollars isn't a bad deal; you just have to call their overseas customer service line and tell them firmly 6 times that you are sure about canceling your account.
- A French braid because it keeps my hair out of my face and it think it makes me look smart.
- Sticky socks for barre class. The socks are partly about fitting in with the other women and partly about not slipping when I'm hanging off the barre with all my body weight while my inner thighs quiver. At first I got a pack of 3 for like 15 bucks, but when they were flopping around my feet and actually making the class harder, I quickly realized that the spendier ones are where it's at. So I invested in a couple of these organic grip socks from Amazon. (I don't need my socks to be organic, of course, but these particular socks happen to be organic and feel heavenly on my feet.)
- These super soft (and might I say cheap) sports bras I recently found on Amazon. I think they're gonna be just as good as the OG Jockey bra I mentioned above. I took the padding out immediately, duh. (Side note: I usually wear a small or XS in shirts, but have always gone with medium for sports bras because that's just what feels best, even though I have small boobs. The small and XS compression sports bras from Nike are so gnarly. They don't even fit over my skeleton, let alone the rest of my flesh.)
I also wear a variety of soft t-shirts, free workout tank tops I've acquired over the years, and Nike sneakers for cardio and walking.
Barre culture can be a little culty. I do feel some pressure to wear the right clothes and have clean, matching sticky socks for each class. Sometimes I feel like I need to have the latest trendy color-block or mesh leggings. Sometimes when I'm in the back row, I notice that the woman in front of me is sporting Lululemon from head to toe and feel inadequate. But most of the time, I don't really care and just focus on being comfortable and the fact that I am privileged enough to be there in the first place.
Speaking of clothes that make me feel fly, I'm off to go browse jumpsuits on Asos for my honeymoon! Remember, people: always sort low to high when you online shop!
PS: I figured out where Lululemon's sale stuff is. My co-worker was telling me that they didn't really have sales, which made me go, "Hmmmmmmmmmm." So I looked around their site and realized it's in the "Features - We Made Too Much" section. Those rascals!